Not afraid of First Grade...

Ok, so if you've read my posts or if you know me at all, it is fairly obvious that I am a total spaz.
I openly admit that I have always been an over protective mother, sometimes to the extreme, but with good intentions. People have teased me about wanting to put bubble wrap around my kid before letting him leave the house. Hey, wait a minute, who said he was aloud out of my sight?!lol

The beautiful thing is that we serve a compassionate God who understands our shortcomings. He's not at all surprised by my issues, but He does know how to use them to teach me to trust Him. As my little man prepares to enter first grade next week, I find myself not afraid, but excited. I love having him home, yet I know how much he enjoys his friends. I miss seeing his papers each day and packing his lunch. School, especially at this point, is fun. It is good for him to learn to stand on his own and it's good for me to depend on my Lord.

I thank God for allowing me to bring all my fears to Him. I know that my precious baby (yes, he's still my baby) is in good hands. Thank you Jesus!

Tossing money down the drain

I am not a frivolous person. In fact, I drive my husband nuts because I nit pick every dollar and make sure it's all accounted for. So the problem is that I think I'm always in control, but we all know that's not the case.

The Lord will remind us of this fact for our own good, even if it doesn't feel good. Ever had your bank account get messed up over a $2.00 charge that ends up costing you $80? Yeah, I goofed yet again. It's just money, but we aren't rich and that IS a lot of money to lose.

Now, here's the test. I have really been trying to be faithful in paying our tithes. My initial reaction is , "Lord, you know I'm trying to be faithful, so why am I being punished?".
Forgive me Father--just a temporary flesh flash.

I believe that it is more a question of if I will really trust the Lord when it's not comfortable. Will I still pay my tithes when the money"isn't there". Will I not touch the tithes money that is set aside from last week?

The bottom line is that money comes and goes (and goes, and goes, and goes)--- but God provides all that we need. He always has and promised He always will. All He asks for is obedience.

I am reminded of what Jesus said, "If you love Me, keep My commandments."

Yes, Lord. Glory to Your Name!

Happy Gratituesday!

The Lord is directing my husband, but what about me?

As a christian couple, we walk this life together with the Lord. We of course each have our own relationship with God, but also with our spouse as "one flesh". I have prayed for some time now that my hubby would be blessed and I am thrilled to watch the process he's going through, yet I suppose I feel a bit left behind.

I know it sounds selfish and silly like a little child whining, "but what about me". It just seems that every time I try to spend time with the Lord something always interrupts or I have to be somewhere or there's constant distraction. At the same time I'm watching my "other half" be able to sit around all day and read, pray, reflect, and witness.

I hate me sometimes. I fight the feeling that maybe God won't use me because I'm just not able to be used. I have a bad attitude. I'm lazy. I'm afraid. I haven't been paying my tithes like I should. I have a temper. I'm judgemental. I hold grudges. I'm not a good friend. I'm not a people person. I'm not.......I'm just not good enough.

Forgive me Jesus.

I am thankful to be a cleaning lady---most of the time

I was just visiting Heavenly Homemakers and realized it's Gratituesday again so here's what's on my heart right now.

I've been working a couple hours per night as a cleaning lady (sanitary engineer) :) and I get a little down sometimes. I'm not used to having a job since I was a stay-at-home mom for six years. It's not that it's such an awful place to work, but I just have a bad attitude. So to try and combat that mentality I feel the need to list why I am thankful----

I am thankful to have a job that doesn't take me away from family time
I am thankful for the extra money since my husband is laid off
I am thankful for working with good people
I am thankful for every weekend off!!!

Mostly, I am thankful that this situation makes me depend on the Lord for His strength because I cannot get through each day without Him!

Playoff time! GO CAVS!!!!

Ok, so we recently went to our first NBA game. Our family loves basketball so this was a big deal!
God is so good and gives more than we deserve. It was cool enough just to get to go, but let me tell you what happened while we were there.

We had decent seats, but not really close to the court. So while the team was warming up before the game we went down and asked the security guard if we could get closer and try to get autographs. He showed us where to go and wait, right by the tunnel were the team comes out. So we went down and each time someone would walk by, everyone rushed over and blocked us out.
I prayed, while I held what felt like 50 coats, that my boys (the big and little one) would get at least one signature. There was this sweet lady who worked at the arena. She saw my little boy and squeezed him in front of the other people so he could get an autograph from "Boobie" Gibson. Awesome!!! We were tickled pink!

Now, for the best part---Finally the lady told everyone to go back to their seats and the autograph session was over. While people were clearing out, she came over and whispered to me to stay put. She told us that we could sit there until the "King" came out. We were right beside the tunnel where LeBron comes on the court! We freaked out!!!!
Right before the whole team walked out, the nice lady lifted up my son and put him down in the tunnel so he could high five all the Cavaliers as they came by. He looked so little standing there as these huge basketball players tapped his little hand! What a dream come true!!! I give God the glory for giving us blessings even beyond what we ask!
We have a memory that will last forever!

God is good

I am always amazed at how God takes trials and turns them into His glory. I feel so blessed to go through hard times and watch Him provide and comfort just as He has promised. When we finally learn to let go and let God, we can find peace in any circumstance.

My husband had been laid off, but the Lord gave me a job that is exactly what we need. We have let go of our big county house with all the land to downsize to a small rental closer to our families--and for the first time in months, there is peace. The grass really isn't always greener.
Through others, we have been generously blessed with food, clothes, gas money, bonus pay on my check, gift cards and support. I cannot believe the outpouring of love we have felt.
Glory to God!

What comfort zone?

Just want to share my heart. I am at a point in my life where I feel lost. I've been a stay-at-home mom for six years and now that my son is in school, I can't seem to find my place. When he was a baby, my world revolved around him. Toddler years were a blast! We had an adventure every day. There were projects and so many tiny moments of learning and laughter. We were inseparable. I knew what he needed and could provide it. I was MOM, period.

I love to see how my little baby has grown. I love the things we do together now and the way he can communicate. I am so proud of how smart he is, but I miss him. It's not just that he physically has to be away from me, it is the fact that he seems more and more to be to busy for cuddles. Kisses are less frequent. Tender moments, while still there, are slowly turning to wrestling and rowdy boy play. We have had more questions about typical six year old curiosity (if you know what I mean). Instead of giggles, I see eye rolls and crossed arms. He's normal. He's six. He's not a baby, but always MY baby.

I know it sounds stupid. Why am I surprised that my kid is growing up? What did I think would happen? My head knew it would come, but my heart didn't even want to hear it. How did we get here so fast? I did my best to cherish every moment, yet still, the time flew by.
Now the love of my life leaves me each day to grow a little more. I have had to start working again to make ends meet, but they never do. We have tried for over two years to have another child, but I guess that is just not what the Lord wants right now. I feel lost. I used to have the "mom" thing down. I loved staying home. It was familiar. I've not been to this place before. Jesus, please guide me.