What comfort zone?

Just want to share my heart. I am at a point in my life where I feel lost. I've been a stay-at-home mom for six years and now that my son is in school, I can't seem to find my place. When he was a baby, my world revolved around him. Toddler years were a blast! We had an adventure every day. There were projects and so many tiny moments of learning and laughter. We were inseparable. I knew what he needed and could provide it. I was MOM, period.

I love to see how my little baby has grown. I love the things we do together now and the way he can communicate. I am so proud of how smart he is, but I miss him. It's not just that he physically has to be away from me, it is the fact that he seems more and more to be to busy for cuddles. Kisses are less frequent. Tender moments, while still there, are slowly turning to wrestling and rowdy boy play. We have had more questions about typical six year old curiosity (if you know what I mean). Instead of giggles, I see eye rolls and crossed arms. He's normal. He's six. He's not a baby, but always MY baby.

I know it sounds stupid. Why am I surprised that my kid is growing up? What did I think would happen? My head knew it would come, but my heart didn't even want to hear it. How did we get here so fast? I did my best to cherish every moment, yet still, the time flew by.
Now the love of my life leaves me each day to grow a little more. I have had to start working again to make ends meet, but they never do. We have tried for over two years to have another child, but I guess that is just not what the Lord wants right now. I feel lost. I used to have the "mom" thing down. I loved staying home. It was familiar. I've not been to this place before. Jesus, please guide me.

What women want-----does anyone know?

Allow me to vent if you will. Ever since I've graduated high school and gotten married, I have struggled to find true female friends. I never really had too many to begin with because I used to hang out more with the guys in school. Girls always involved drama and mood swings that I just didn't want to deal with, still don't.

When I became a christian, I lost pretty much all of my old friends and just haven't seemed to find the right fit. My husband is my best friend. Next in line is my mother and sister-in-law, basically all family members. I have had too many "outsiders" either take advantage of me or flat out turn on me to be able to trust anyone beyond my circle.

I do realize I'm not the perfect friend, not even close. I guess I just don't understand what adult friends are supposed to do. Most women I've been friends with seem to still want the "high school" relationship where we're joined at the hip. That is fine for young single ladies, but come on, we've got families now. I make no apologies for putting my husband and son first and then the rest of my family. Friends should not come with obligation where I have to answer to someone or defend my choice not to talk on the phone every day.

If you can tell, I've had a recent falling out with a so-called friend. I was blindsided, which is a specialty of the female gender. I know I'm not completely innocent. I've made mistakes and even apologized for them. The only conclusion I can come to is that everything happens for a reason. True colors were revealed and as they say, "another one bites the dust".

Why are women so difficult? Let's stop tearing each other apart.