Tossing money down the drain

I am not a frivolous person. In fact, I drive my husband nuts because I nit pick every dollar and make sure it's all accounted for. So the problem is that I think I'm always in control, but we all know that's not the case.

The Lord will remind us of this fact for our own good, even if it doesn't feel good. Ever had your bank account get messed up over a $2.00 charge that ends up costing you $80? Yeah, I goofed yet again. It's just money, but we aren't rich and that IS a lot of money to lose.

Now, here's the test. I have really been trying to be faithful in paying our tithes. My initial reaction is , "Lord, you know I'm trying to be faithful, so why am I being punished?".
Forgive me Father--just a temporary flesh flash.

I believe that it is more a question of if I will really trust the Lord when it's not comfortable. Will I still pay my tithes when the money"isn't there". Will I not touch the tithes money that is set aside from last week?

The bottom line is that money comes and goes (and goes, and goes, and goes)--- but God provides all that we need. He always has and promised He always will. All He asks for is obedience.

I am reminded of what Jesus said, "If you love Me, keep My commandments."

Yes, Lord. Glory to Your Name!

Happy Gratituesday!

The Lord is directing my husband, but what about me?

As a christian couple, we walk this life together with the Lord. We of course each have our own relationship with God, but also with our spouse as "one flesh". I have prayed for some time now that my hubby would be blessed and I am thrilled to watch the process he's going through, yet I suppose I feel a bit left behind.

I know it sounds selfish and silly like a little child whining, "but what about me". It just seems that every time I try to spend time with the Lord something always interrupts or I have to be somewhere or there's constant distraction. At the same time I'm watching my "other half" be able to sit around all day and read, pray, reflect, and witness.

I hate me sometimes. I fight the feeling that maybe God won't use me because I'm just not able to be used. I have a bad attitude. I'm lazy. I'm afraid. I haven't been paying my tithes like I should. I have a temper. I'm judgemental. I hold grudges. I'm not a good friend. I'm not a people person. I'm not.......I'm just not good enough.

Forgive me Jesus.