As a christian couple, we walk this life together with the Lord. We of course each have our own relationship with God, but also with our spouse as "one flesh". I have prayed for some time now that my hubby would be blessed and I am thrilled to watch the process he's going through, yet I suppose I feel a bit left behind.
I know it sounds selfish and silly like a little child whining, "but what about me". It just seems that every time I try to spend time with the Lord something always interrupts or I have to be somewhere or there's constant distraction. At the same time I'm watching my "other half" be able to sit around all day and read, pray, reflect, and witness.
I hate me sometimes. I fight the feeling that maybe God won't use me because I'm just not able to be used. I have a bad attitude. I'm lazy. I'm afraid. I haven't been paying my tithes like I should. I have a temper. I'm judgemental. I hold grudges. I'm not a good friend. I'm not a people person. I'm not.......I'm just not good enough.
Forgive me Jesus.
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